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TOPIC: Insight into edits

Insight into edits 7 years 8 months ago #208

A director of mine is doing a contemp/folio text version of Hamlet - think Baz - and he is having trouble with the madness scene for Ophelia - and so am I.

The cut that we all know is:

There's fennel for you, and columbines.—There's rue for
you, and here's some for me. We may call it “herb of grace”
o' Sundays.—Oh, you must wear your rue with a
difference.—There's a daisy. I would give you some violets,
but they withered all when my father died. They say he
made a good end (sings) For bonny sweet Robin is all my joy—


and he switched it to Ophelia with a hand gun pointing it at the people who recieves "flowers":

Theres for you - and theres for you - and heres some for me. I would give you some, but I withered all when my father died: they say he made a good end.

We both know its weak as it is - and we are trying to make it a stronger choice.

Any insights? I hate that the sins are cut out and that with her entering with the handgun and just pointing it the accusations are not as strong as when she has the flowers which represent adultry, repentence, unhappy love and so forth.

So... thoughts onhow to make it better with only using the text provided by Willy?
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Insight into edits 7 years 8 months ago #209

It seems like you wouldn't need to cut anything because the herbs and flowers could just as easily be symbolic as they could be the real items (she could say the lines in a half-cocked maybe even sarcastic tone). Or she could just say them and give out imaginary herbs/flowers as she pretends to pluck them from the ground around her. Or she could use a small bouquet of the real items on her lapel (or scattered throughout her matted hair), which she could pull out one-by-one, discovering/naming each of them as she then throws them at the other individuals she points the gun at...maybe even forcing the other characters one-by-one to pick them up (because they likely wouldn't fly very far when thrown).

As a general rule, you make an edit to make something clearer without diminishing the dramatic impact. If you're not accomplishing both, then you should re-evaluate your edit. Most of what Shakespeare wrote can be played in a modern context with a minimal of tweaking.
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Insight into edits 6 years 5 months ago #1745

Adrianna, how did the scene and the play work out?
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