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PlayShakespeare.com: The Ultimate Free Shakespeare Resource
PlayShakespeare.com: The Ultimate Free Shakespeare Resource
PlayShakespeare.com: The Ultimate Free Shakespeare Resource

Monologues for Men

Enter Stephano, singing, a bottle in his hand.

STE.

“I shall no more to sea, to sea,

Here shall I die ashore—”

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man’s funeral.

Well, here’s my comfort.

Drinks.
Sings.

“The master, the swabber, the boatswain, and I,

The gunner and his mate,

Lov’d Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery,

But none of us car’d for Kate;

For she had a tongue with a tang,

Would cry to a sailor, ‘Go hang!’

She lov’d not the savor of tar nor of pitch,

Yet a tailor might scratch her where e’er she did itch.

Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!”

This is a scurvy tune too; but here’s my comfort.

Drinks.

What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon ’s with salvages and men of Inde? Ha? I have not scap’d drowning to be afeard now of your four legs; for it hath been said, “As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground”; and it shall be said so again while Stephano breathes at’ nostrils. This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who hath got (as I take it) an ague. Where the devil should he learn our language? I will give him some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, and get to Naples with him, he’s a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat’s-leather. He’s in his fit now, and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle; if he have never drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove his fit. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly. Come on your ways. Open your mouth; here is that which will give language to you, cat. Open your mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly. You cannot tell who’s your friend. Open your chaps again.

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