Mytilene. A room in the brothel.
(Pander; Bawd; Boult; Lysimachus; Marina)
The Pander and the Bawd discuss what to do with Marina, who is ruining their trade by insisting on retaining her virginity and converting all of their customers into virtuous people. Boult tells them he’ll just have to rape her. Lysimachus, Mytilene’s governor, comes to visit the brothel, and they bring Marina to him. Alas for them, she converts him, too. He insists that he didn’t actually come here for the obvious purpose, and gives her some money. The Bander and Bawd finally agree to let Boult rape the girl. Marina reproaches him for his job, but he asks her what else he could actually do that would be safe. She gives him the gold Lysimachus gave her, and tells him to go out and advertise her not as a harlot but as a teacher of singing, weaving, sewing and dancing. He agrees to check with the Bawd and Pander and get their agreement. (127 lines)
Enter three bawds: Pander, Bawd, and Boult.
Well, I had rather than twice the worth of her she had ne’er come here.
Fie, fie upon her, she’s able to freeze the god Priapus, and undo a whole generation. We must either get her ravish’d or be rid of her. When she should do for clients her fitment, and do me the kindness of our profession, she has me her quirks, her reasons, her master reasons, her prayers, her knees, that she would make a puritan of the devil, if he should cheapen a kiss of her.
Faith, I must ravish her, or she’ll disfurnish us of all our cavalleria, and make our swearers priests.
Now the pox upon her green-sickness for me!
Faith, there’s no way to be rid on’t but by the way to the pox. Here comes the Lord Lysimachus disguis’d.
We should have both lord and lown, if the peevish baggage would but give way to customers.
How now? How a dozen of virginities?
Now the gods to bless your honor!
I am glad to see your honor in good health.
You may so, ’tis the better for you that your resorters stand upon sound legs. How now? Wholesome iniquity have you, that a man may deal withal and defy the surgeon?
We have here one, sir, if she would—but there never came her like in Mytilene.
If she’d do the deeds of darkness, thou wouldst say.
Your honor knows what ’tis to say well enough.
Well, call forth, call forth.
For flesh and blood, sir, white and red, you shall see a rose, and she were a rose indeed, if she had but—
O, sir, I can be modest.
That dignifies the renown of a bawd, no less than it gives a good report to a number to be chaste.
Here comes that which grows to the stalk, never pluck’d yet, I can assure you.
Enter Boult with Marina.
Is she not a fair creature?
Faith, she would serve after a long voyage at sea. Well, there’s for you, leave us.
I beseech your honor give me leave a word, and I’ll have done presently.
I beseech you do.
Aside to Marina
First, I would have you note, this is an honorable man.
I desire to find him so, that I may worthily note him.
Next, he’s the governor of this country, and a man whom I am bound to.
If he govern the country, you are bound to him indeed, but how honorable he is in that, I know not.
Pray you, without any more virginal fencing, will you use him kindly? He will line your apron with gold.
What he will do graciously, I will thankfully receive.
Ha’ you done?
My lord, she’s not pac’d yet, you must take some pains to work her to your manage. Come, we will leave his honor and her together. Go thy ways.
Exeunt Bawd, Pander, and Boult.
Now, pretty one, how long have you been at this trade?
What trade, sir?
Why, I cannot name ’t but I shall offend.
I cannot be offended with my trade. Please you to name it.
How long have you been of this profession?
E’er since I can remember.
Did you go to’t so young? Were you a gamester at five, or at seven?
Earlier too, sir, if now I be one.
Why, the house you dwell in proclaims you to be a creature of sale.
Do you know this house to be a place of such resort, and will come into’t? I hear say you’re of honorable parts, and are the governor of this place.
Why, hath your principal made known unto you who I am?
Who is my principal?
Why, your herb-woman, she that sets seeds and roots of shame and iniquity. O, you have heard something of my power, and so stand aloof for more serious wooing. But I protest to thee, pretty one, my authority shall not see thee, or else look friendly upon thee. Come bring me to some private place. Come, come.
If you were born to honor, show it now;
If put upon you, make the judgment good
That thought you worthy of it.
How’s this? How’s this? Some more, be sage.
That am a maid, though most ungentle fortune
Have plac’d me in this sty, where since I came,
Diseases have been sold dearer than physic—
That the gods
Would set me free from this unhallowed place,
Though they did change me to the meanest bird
That flies i’ th’ purer air!
I did not think
Thou couldst have spoke so well, ne’er dreamt thou couldst.
Had I brought hither a corrupted mind,
Thy speech had altered it. Hold, here’s gold for thee.
Persever in that clear way thou goest,
And the gods strengthen thee!
The good gods preserve you!
For me, be you thoughten
That I came with no ill intent, for to me
The very doors and windows savor vilely.
Fare thee well, thou art a piece of virtue, and
I doubt not but thy training hath been noble.
Hold, here’s more gold for thee.
A curse upon him, die he like a thief,
That robs thee of thy goodness! If thou dost
Hear from me, it shall be for thy good.
I beseech your honor one piece for me.
Avaunt, thou damned door-keeper!
Your house, but for this virgin that doth prop it,
Would sink and overwhelm you. Away!
How’s this? We must take another course with you! If your peevish chastity, which is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country under the cope, shall undo a whole household, let me be gelded like a spaniel. Come your ways.
Whither would you have me?
I must have your maidenhead taken off, or the common hangman shall execute it. Come your ways. We’ll have no more gentlemen driven away. Come your ways, I say.
Enter bawds: Bawd and Pander.
How now, what’s the matter?
Worse and worse, mistress, she has here spoken holy words to the Lord Lysimachus.
She makes our profession as it were to stink afore the face of the gods.
Marry, hang her up forever!
The nobleman would have dealt with her like a nobleman, and she sent him away as cold as a snowball, saying his prayers too.
Boult, take her away, use her at thy pleasure. Crack the glass of her virginity, and make the rest malleable.
And if she were a thornier piece of ground than she is, she shall be plough’d.
Hark, hark, you gods!
She conjures, away with her! Would she had never come within my doors. Marry, hang you! She’s born to undo us. Will you not go the way of womenkind? Marry, come up, my dish of chastity with rosemary and bays!
Exeunt Bawd and Pander.
Come, mistress, come your ways with me.
Whither wilt thou have me?
To take from you the jewel you hold so dear.
Prithee tell me one thing first.
Come now, your one thing.
What canst thou wish thine enemy to be?
Why, I could wish him to be my master, or rather, my mistress.
Neither of these are so bad as thou art,
Since they do better thee in their command.
Thou hold’st a place for which the pained’st fiend
Of hell would not in reputation change.
Thou art the damned door-keeper to every
Custrel that comes inquiring for his Tib.
To the choleric fisting of every rogue
Thy ear is liable; thy food is such
As hath been belch’d on by infected lungs.
What would you have me do? Go to the wars, would you? Where a man may serve seven years for the loss of a leg, and have not money enough in the end to buy him a wooden one?
Do any thing but this thou doest. Empty
Old receptacles, or common shores, of filth,
Serve by indenture to the common hangman:
Any of these ways are yet better than this;
For what thou professest, a baboon, could he speak,
Would own a name too dear. That the gods
Would safely deliver me from this place!
Here, here’s gold for thee.
If that thy master would gain by me,
Proclaim that I can sing, weave, sew, and dance,
With other virtues, which I’ll keep from boast,
And will undertake all these to teach.
I doubt not but this populous city will
Yield many scholars.
But can you teach all this you speak of?
Prove that I cannot, take me home again
And prostitute me to the basest groom
That doth frequent your house.
Well, I will see what I can do for thee. If I can place thee, I will.
But amongst honest women.
Faith, my acquaintance lies little amongst them. But since my master and mistress hath bought you, there’s no going but by their consent. Therefore I will make them acquainted with your purpose, and I doubt not but I shall find them tractable enough. Come, I’ll do for thee what I can; come your ways.