Padua. Before Lucentio’s house.
(Biondello; Lucentio; Bianca; Gremio; Petruchio; Kate; Vincentio; Grumio; Attendants; Pedant; Servants; Baptista; Tranio; Officer)
Bianca and Lucentio sneak off to the church to get married. Petruchio, Kate, Vincentio and Gremio arrive. Vincentio tries to be let in, but the schoolmaster refuses him from the window, insisting that he himself is Lucentio’s father. Biondello enters and keeps up the charade despite Vincentio’s rage. Tranio enters in his expensive clothes, and Vincentio is horrified to see a servant so dressed, presuming that his son and the servant have been spending all their money. Vincentio insists that he is in fact a servant, but Tranio denies it and continues to insist that he is Lucentio, leaving Vincentio to believe that Tranio has murdered his master and taken his place. Pretending to think Vincentio mad, Tranio calls for an officer to arrest him. Gremio believes Vincentio to be who he says he is, but cannot quite swear to it. All is cleared up when Lucentio and Bianca come in. Lucentio begs his father’s pardon as he explains what has gone on; Baptista is angry that he has married his daughter without permission, but Vincentio promises to make a good deal for her while swearing he’ll be revenged on Tranio. They go in to work out all the details of what has occurred. Before going in, Petruchio asks Kate for a kiss, and though she is ashamed to do so in the public street, she acquiesces. (93 lines)
Enter Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca; Gremio is out before.
Softly and swiftly, sir, for the priest is ready.
I fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need thee at home, therefore leave us.
Nay, faith, I’ll see the church a’ your back, and then come back to my master’s as soon as I can.
Exeunt Lucentio, Bianca, and Biondello.
I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.
Enter Petruchio, Kate, Vincentio, Grumio, with Attendants.
Sir, here’s the door, this is Lucentio’s house.
My father’s bears more toward the market-place;
Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.
You shall not choose but drink before you go.
I think I shall command your welcome here;
And by all likelihood some cheer is toward.
They’re busy within, you were best knock louder.
Pedant looks out of the window.
What’s he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?
Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?
He’s within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.
What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two, to make merry withal?
Keep your hundred pounds to yourself, he shall need none so long as I live.
Nay, I told you your son was well belov’d in Padua. Do you hear, sir?—to leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you tell Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.
Thou liest, his father is come from Padua and here looking out at the window.
Art thou his father?
Ay, sir, so his mother says, if I may believe her.
Why, how now, gentleman? Why, this is flat knavery, to take upon you another man’s name.
Lay hands on the villain. I believe ’a means to cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.
I have seen them in the church together, God send ’em good shipping! But who is here? Mine old master Vincentio! Now we are undone and brought to nothing.
Come hither, crack-hemp.
I hope I may choose, sir.
Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?
Forgot you? No, sir. I could not forget you, for I never saw you before in all my life.
What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy master’s father, Vincentio?
What, my old worshipful old master? Yes, marry, sir—see where he looks out of the window.
Is’t so indeed?
He beats Biondello.
Help, help, help! Here’s a madman will murder me.
Help, son! Help, Signior Baptista!
Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of this controversy.
Enter Pedant below with Servants, Baptista, Tranio as Lucentio.
Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?
What am I, sir? Nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet, a velvet hose, a scarlet cloak, and a copatain hat! O, I am undone, I am undone! While I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university.
How now, what’s the matter?
What, is the man lunatic?
Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit; but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what ’cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.
Thy father! O villain, he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.
You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray what do you think is his name?
His name! As if I knew not his name! I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.
Away, away, mad ass, his name is Lucentio, and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.
Lucentio! O, he hath murd’red his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the Duke’s name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?
Call forth an officer.
Exit Servant, who returns with an Officer.
Carry this mad knave to the jail. Father Baptista, I charge you see that he be forthcoming.
Carry me to the jail?
Stay, officer, he shall not go to prison.
Talk not, Signior Gremio; I say he shall go to prison.
Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catch’d in this business. I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.
Swear if thou dar’st.
Nay, I dare not swear it.
Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.
Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.
Away with the dotard, to the jail with him!
Enter Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca.
Thus strangers may be hal’d and abus’d. O monstrous villain!
O, we are spoil’d and—yonder he is. Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.
Exeunt Biondello, Tranio, and Pedant as fast as may be.
Pardon, sweet father.
Lives my sweet son?
Pardon, dear father.
How hast thou offended?
Where is Lucentio?
Right son to the right Vincentio,
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While counterfeit supposes blear’d thine eyne.
Here’s packing, with a witness, to deceive us all!
Where is that damned villain Tranio,
That fac’d and braved me in this matter so?
Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?
Cambio is chang’d into Lucentio.
Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
While he did bear my countenance in the town,
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforc’d him to;
Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.
I’ll slit the villain’s nose, that would have sent me to the jail.
But do you hear, sir? Have you married my daughter without asking my good will?
Fear not, Baptista, we will content you, go to; but I will in to be reveng’d for this villainy.
And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.
Look not pale, Bianca, thy father will not frown.
Exeunt Lucentio and Bianca.
My cake is dough, but I’ll in among the rest,
Out of hope of all but my share of the feast.
Husband, let’s follow, to see the end of this ado.
First kiss me, Kate, and we will.
What, in the midst of the street?
What, art thou asham’d of me?
No, sir, God forbid, but asham’d to kiss.
Why then let’s home again. Come, sirrah, let’s away.
Nay, I will give thee a kiss; now pray thee, love, stay.
Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
Better once than never, for never too late.